


He Found the What?

by ChainSmokesPens



Category: Original Work
Genre: Flash Fic, Restaurants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28430964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChainSmokesPens/pseuds/ChainSmokesPens
Summary: Prompt: [WP] It’s normal to play a practical joke on the new hire by making them find a fictional piece of equipment. It’s not normal when they return, having violated the laws of physics by actually inventing said formerly-fictional device.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	He Found the What?

The chef, the general manager, both of the line cooks, and all three of the dishwashers were staring at their new busboy. Tony, for is part, stood there, struggling to support the weight of the machine in his arms.

Silver and girthy, it resembled a pasta machine. However, the device had a lever in place of a crank and a series of magnets along the bottom tat would stick to the metal tables in the kitchen.

“Tony,” the GM finally spoke up, “what the hell is this?”

“It’s the bacon stretcher, sir.”

There was more silence. The line cook Anton pulled out his phone and snapped a picture. The GM continued, “Where’d you get this?”

“Back shelf.”

“And you’ve used this before?”

“Yeah.”

“Show me.”

Tony plopped the machine onto the table, the strength of the magnets at the base pulling the legs off the floor. He fetched a quarter sheet tray and a small six pan of the applewood smoked bacon the diner used. When the lever was hit, the machine screeched painfully before settling into a droning hum.

Tony, slowly, fed one slice of bacon into the machine. As a result, bacon came out of the other side. That was to be expected. What wasn’t expected was the quantity. For every square inch of bacon put in, twelve square inches came out.

The head chef pulled the freshly-stretched slab of meat and held it up to the light. It wasn’t thinner than it was when it went in. The term ‘bacon stretcher’ was clearly inaccurate. It wasn’t being stretched.

There was just more.

Cooking it off, it held up to a taste test, too.

Somehow, Tony was always able to fulfill whatever requests his bosses made.

He once asked why the ice machine was filling with water. When he was told that the pilot had gone out, it took him nine minutes to find and light it; the ice had never been colder or more plentiful.

When told to use some elbow grease, he pulled it out of the lockers. It made prep work infinitely easier for the rest of the night.

He could chop flour to a fine mist.

He could fill a bucket with ten pounds of steam.

He found the missing left-handed ladles.

Tony was the only green horn who couldn’t be hazed.

**Author's Note:**

> Folks at r/KitchenConfidential really liked this one.


End file.
